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Essays
Research-informed, practical pieces for understanding the patterns underneath everyday married life.
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Results from across all published Essays and Stories.
We Love Our Kids. We Also Miss Us.
You can adore your children and still miss the version of your marriage that had more room to breathe. Here’s how couples can stay connected when parenting turns most conversations into logistics, bedtime negotiations, and questions about who moved the water bottle.
Stop Trying to Win the Argument You’re Both Losing
Sometimes the argument stops being about solving the problem and quietly becomes about proving who is right. Here’s how couples can disagree honestly, hold their ground when needed, and still remember they are arguing with someone they love—not opposing counsel.
We Love Each Other. So Why Does Sex Feel So Complicated?
You can love your spouse, be attracted to them, and still discover that sex comes with different desires, timing, expectations, insecurities, histories, and unspoken rules. Here’s why married sex can get complicated—and how couples can make it safer to talk about what they actually need.
The Budget Is Probably Not the Real Problem
Couples can argue about groceries, savings, subscriptions, and the mysterious disappearance of money at Target—but the numbers are often carrying something bigger. Here’s how to talk about the safety, freedom, fairness, values, and trust hiding underneath the budget.
When Did We Stop Being Silly Together?
Somewhere between work, bills, children, and everything that needs doing, couples can forget how to be ridiculous together. Here’s why a little playfulness is worth protecting.
The 10-Second Habit That Can Change the Way You Come Home
Before the bags, bills, kids, dinner, and evening logistics take over, give your spouse ten seconds of real arrival. A small homecoming habit can help couples reconnect before the second shift begins.
How Couples Slowly Become Roommates—and How to Catch It Early
When marriage starts feeling more like managing a household than enjoying each other, the drift can be easy to miss. Here’s how to notice roommate mode early—and start moving back toward each other.
When Your Spouse Wants Comfort and You Bring a PowerPoint
Sometimes your spouse needs a solution. Sometimes they need you to sit beside them and agree that today was awful. Learning the difference can change the way couples support each other.
Your Spouse Is Not a Mind Reader. Unfortunately.
We want our spouse to know us deeply—but sometimes “you should just know” turns love into a guessing game. Here’s why clearer communication can actually make marriage feel more, not less, intimate.
How to Reconnect With Your Spouse After a Busy Week
When life gets crowded, reconnecting doesn’t require a perfect date night. Start with a few small, intentional returns to each other.
Love Is Patient. Unfortunately, Your Spouse Is Taking Forever.
“Love is patient” sounds beautiful until your spouse is moving at a speed that tests your sanctification. What does patience actually look like in the ordinary frustrations of marriage?
When One of You Wants to Talk and the Other Needs Space
One spouse wants to talk it out now. The other needs room to breathe. Neither need is automatically wrong—but couples need a way to take space without turning it into abandonment.